Musings of a Puerile Brain

"Every day in every way, I am becoming a new and better man.  I am listening to my emotions and am one with myself and...and... Tony! You're ruining the bacon - I can smell it burning!"

Is it odd that I very much identify with this quote?  I feel as though every time I make any sort of headway in changing myself for the better I become distracted by "real life" as C.S. Lewis calls it in The Screwtape Letters.

"Even if a particular train of thought can be twisted so as to end in our favour, you will find that you have been strengthening in your patient the fatal habit of attending to universal issues and withdrawing his attention from the stream of immediate sense experiences.  Your business is to fix his attention on the stream. Teach him to call it "real life" and don't let him ask what he means by 'real'."  

Is it too much to ask to be able to live in the realm of what really matters for more than a few moments at a time?  I find that regardless of whether I am reading the scriptures, praying, attending my church meetings, or anything else gospel-related I cannot turn off the tendency to pay attention to my sensory surroundings insomuch that I am effectively distracted from the sort of meditation and pondering suggested by church leaders.  Even if outside influences do not pervade I am assaulted by my own thoughts tending toward temporal concerns.

I think that is why the fantasy genre has always appealed to me so much. The thought of having power above my human abilities is very alluring, especially when it comes to self-mastery.  I know that I am weak and having unearthly strength would place me in a position so as to be successful not only in my temporal ventures, but also in spiritual ones as well.

 1 O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the ^atrump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!

 2 Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and ^acome unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth.

 3 But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.

And so, like Alma, I shall be content with my puny human brain that is so easily distracted and shall learn ways of overcoming this handicap and becoming great in spite of it.  Wish me luck, mortals!